


i spoke all the words i ever wanted you to know

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: #1 bro lee minsoo, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bodyswap, First Kiss, Guitars, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kang Dongho | D.Min Rolled a 1 On Communication, Kim Daehyun is a Sweetheart, Lack of Communication, M/M, Music, Mutual Pining, No beta we die like mne, Piano, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: "...is that all you want this to mean?"Dongho stares down at his hands - Daehyun's hands - and closes his eyes."It's all it does mean."
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kim Daehyun, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Lee Minsoo, Kang Dongho | D.Min & Lee Minsoo, Kang Dongho | D.Min/Kim Daehyun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	i spoke all the words i ever wanted you to know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JamlessGenius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamlessGenius/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The You In Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24922540) by [JamlessGenius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamlessGenius/pseuds/JamlessGenius). 



> hi hello i hope you do not mind i did this
> 
> uh make sure you read the you in me first!! this is based off the ending tag :D

"So..."

Dongho - Daehyun - trails off, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. "How do we...?"

Daehyun - Dongho in Daehyun's body - scowls, staring down at the ground. "It doesn't matter. We just... kiss, and everything goes back to normal."

Daehyun looks at him, something sad flickering in his eyes - and that's not an expression that should be on Dongho's face, that kicked-puppy sort of look that's so characteristically Daehyun - so Dongho dips his head, gaze falling to Daehyun's slender fingers.

It's still strange, seeing them clench and unclench when he moves. 

Seeing _Daehyun's face_ when he looks in the mirror.

In all honesty, this wasn't something he ever expected. 

"...is that all you want this to mean?"

The words come out strained, twisted, _raw_ , and Dongho bites his - Daehyun's, Daehyun's aren’t chapped - lips as his fingers drum over his knee.

 _Pull yourself the fuck together, Kang Dongho_.

He screws his eyes shut for a moment, trying to remember the tricks he searched up the time he got caught in a hurricane - in for four, out for four - and in a few moments, he's back to normal.

Passably normal.

Wow, isn't it fucking _great_ that he's so neurotic that it crosses bodies?

"It's all it _does_ mean," he finally replies, digging his nails into his knees.

Daehyun doesn't cut his nails, he notes - bites them, even.

It's jarring - having jagged bits of keratin digging into his flesh - and a part of him wonders if he should try it.

"It doesn't have to."

Daehyun's looking at him with _that look_ \- the one that looks so wrong on Dongho's face, the one that's silent, begging him to understand - and he averts his gaze, staring at a place just next to Daehyun's (his body's) head.

"I'm saying it's all it means."

Daehyun's gaze flickers with something - something tragic, something _hurt_ \- and Dongho's grip on his knees tightens. "Is it because it's me?"

"No."

"It's me," Daehyun murmurs, ducking his head. "I knew it."

"Dae."

Dongho rakes a hand through his hair - Daehyun's hair feels like straw, all stiff and wrong-feeling - and he sighs, hand falling to his lap. "It's not you."

That's-

not entirely a lie, he supposes.

"Then what is it?"

Dongho opens his mouth, then shuts it again.

"I thought we were getting closer," Daehyun mumbles, and _oh_ , Dongho knows that hitch to his voice, knows what that means. "I guess I was wrong."

"Dae..."

Because, well-

that _is_ true.

Dongho's gotten to know Daehyun a lot better over the last few months between the chaos and the insanity, and he _knows_ he cares about him.

He just-

he hasn't thought about it.

And the prospect of doing so _scares him_.

Daehyun jolts to his feet, and Dongho blinks at the sight of tears in his eyes. "I'll just- just go, then."

"Wait-"

Daehyun's already gone.

* * *

"So."

Dongho pulls off his headphones and raises his head, brushing locks of blond hair out of his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Man, it's weird knowing you're in there," Minsoo laughs, gesturing to the bed. "Mind if I sit?"

"It was weird for us, too," Dongho mutters, pushing the books to the side. "We never knew who was in which body. Dae liked to try and make a bet out of it. If he won, I had to buy him ice cream, but if I won, then he had to listen to a track I was working on."

"You're whipped," Minsoo grins, and Dongho shakes his head.

"It's not like that."

"C' _mon_ , hyung, who are you trying to fool?"

"I'm not trying to fool anyone."

"Then _why are you denying it_?"

Minsoo sprawls over the duvet, and Dongho's brow twitches as he knocks a few books off the bed. "Yah, you idiot, look where you're putting your legs!"

"No," Minsoo cheekily replies, and Dongho makes a sound halfway between a groan and a scream. "You should smile more!"

"No."

"You're in Dae's body," Minsoo reminds him - a bit more serious, this time. "You need to smile more."

"You assume I can't act like Dae?"

"Kinda," Minsoo replies, and Dongho rolls his eyes before adopting a saccharine smile.

"Hey, Minsoo- _hyung_ , do you wanna help me make dinner? I know Jaewonnie-hyung and Dongho-hyung are out right now, so-"

"Stop!" Minsoo squawks, leaping forwards to tackle Dongho to the bed. "That's just creepy!"

"I'm _right_!" Dongho protests, and Minsoo pouts.

"You are, but that doesn't mean you have to be so _creepy_ about it!"

"Where's Jaewon?" Dongho asks, and Minsoo sighs, sitting back on his heels.

"Off trying to find Dae. You made us cancel date night."

"Sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. Bros before hoes, y'know?"

"Did you just call your boyfriend a hoe?"

Minsoo gasps, and Dongho arches a brow as he fishes out his phone. "What are you doing?"

"I gotta apologize to Wonnie."

"Oh my _god_."

* * *

Jaewon's phone buzzes, and a gentle smile creeps onto his lips as he reads the contents.

"What's up?"

It's _weird_ , Jaewon decides - seeing Dongho wear an expression that's so clearly Daehyun - and for a moment, he pities his groupmates.

"Minsoo-yah just texted me," Jaewon murmurs, sliding his phone back into his pocket. "...why did you come here?"

Daehyun exhales, breath forming a cloud in front of his face. "Hyung and I came here one night, back when we were still trying to figure out what was going on with you two. I remember he bought me ice cream, and it was kinda cold, 'cause early spring and all that stuff, and we were just talking. You know he actually talks a lot when you're just one on one? And he does this _thing_ where he gets a little bit louder when he's talking about something he really likes, and I don't think he knows he does it, 'cause if he did, he'd stop, but I looked at him, and I realized how much I liked him."

"Oh, Dae..."

"It's stupid," Daehyun sniffs, reaching up to rub his nose, "it's so- so _stupid_ , because I know he doesn't feel the same, and he probably just sees me as some idiot kid, but for a while, I thought we were really gonna be good friends, and now-"

He cuts himself off, gaze falling to his hands. "I feel like all the progress I made is just... gone."

"He doesn't think of you as a kid," Jaewon assures him, and Daehyun shakes his head. 

"I just ran out of the dorms, _crying_ , and went to a playground."

"That's just the way you are, Dae."

Jaewon reaches up to pull his jacket sleeve over his hand, and he scrubs some of the tears off Daehyun's face, gaze pinned on the younger man's eyes.

The face may be Dongho's, but the wide-eyed look of unchained love-

that's _wholly Daehyun_.

"If hyung can't see how wonderful that is, then he doesn't deserve you. Trust me, Daehyun-ah - anyone would be lucky to have you."

"I don't want anyone," Daehyun whispers, gaze falling to his hands. "I don't."

"...I know."

* * *

They don't talk about it.

As much as that infuriates Minsoo and worries Jaewon, the oldest and the youngest mutually avoid each other like the plague.

And, see, this would all be _fine_ , if not for the issue that Minsoo still has genuinely no idea where Dongho stands on this entire thing. 

Daehyun's clearly trying to get over him (and failing miserably) and Dongho looks just as miserable, but for the life of him, Minsoo _cannot figure out why_ , and it _irks him_.

Minsoo likes the tea, okay? Sue him.

Although... now that he thinks about it, Dongho and Daehyun _have_ been spending a lot of one-on-one time together while Jaewon and Minsoo were getting their whole magic debacle sorted out. There was the whole event in the jungle, and the time Minsoo and Jaewon left dance practice early, and all of the moments where Minsoo and Jaewon did their own thing and left Dongho and Daehyun to their own devices, and _oh_ -

oh, he knows now.

And honestly?

Minsoo's just a little bit upset he didn't figure it out sooner.

Dongho's listening to something on his phone when he walks in, expression impassive, and Minsoo bends down to click off the device, yanking out Dongho's earbuds and chucking them on the bed.

"Minsoo, what-"

"You like Daehyun."

It's a statement, not a question.

"You like Daehyun," Minsoo continues, eyes narrowing, "but you're _scared_."

"What?"

Dongho looks at him, bewilderment evident. "I'm not scared."

"Then why won't you talk to him?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Then what are you going to do once our break ends?"

Dongho bites his lip, but doesn't reply.

"Are you just going to do this forever? Are you just going to leave Daehyun with your fucked-up family-"

"Leave them out of this."

"Why?" Minsoo challenges, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I'm _right_? I know this isn't because you're shy, I know this isn't because you're some- some _blushing damsel_ who needs Prince Charming, so if it's not your family, then _what is it_?"

"You want to know the truth?" Dongho spits, and it's so strange hearing these harsh words come out of Daehyun's mouth, so strange seeing someone he's only ever seen happy now _boiling with fury_. "Fine. It's because I _know_ if I ask, he'll say yes, and he'll be making a mistake."

"What?"

"You know my brother?" Dongho asks, and Minsoo nods, unsure of where this is going. "Yeah. He came out as gay when he was eighteen, and my parents doxxed his boyfriend's family, got them both kicked out of school, and disowned my brother. I'm _not_ doing that to Daehyun."

Minsoo-

doesn't know what to say.

"He can do better," Dongho finishes, leaning back so his head thunks against the wall. "He can do so much better than me."

"...that was depressing."

"Yeah."

"Is that really your choice to make, though?"

Dongho's about to reply when his phone buzzes - a very loud, very obnoxious text tone cutting through the air - and he sighs, fishing it out of his pocket. "Speak of the devil."

He stares at the screen for a moment, and Minsoo _swears_ he just... spontaneously died. He's not sure _how_ , only that he did.

"Hyung?"

"They want me to come to family dinner tomorrow night," Dongho replies, voice carefully even. "I guess I have to talk to Dae, after all."

* * *

On Daehyun's worst days, he remembers the best ones.

He remembers sitting on the bench with Dongho, the elder's phone in his lap and earbud in his hand, remembers listening to half-finished compositions as he clutched his ice cream. He remembers climbing up the monkey bars, bright peals of laughter escaping his lips as Dongho sat on the ground, smiling gently at him, remembers the two of them sitting side by side, Dongho's arm pressed to his and the elder's gaze fixed on the stars.

He remembers being able to delude himself into thinking Dongho loved him back.

And yet he remembers the way Dongho's eyes looked as he stared up at the stars, a soft melody floating through the air and _hope_ flourishing in Daehyun's chest.

He doesn't feel that now.

Dongho stares at him, dark eyes dull, and Daehyun's gaze flits to the floor, eyes stinging with unshed tears.

Don't cry.

"My parents want me home for family dinner tomorrow night," Dongho states, voice careful and measured and _so, so different_ from all those times he hummed a snippet of a melody, quiet enough that Daehyun could barely hear it. "They agreed to let me come along with you, but if you're not alright with that, I can cancel."

"I can do it," Daehyun mumbles, and he feels rather than sees Dongho's concern.

"Are you sure?"

He has to move on.

God, it's so sad to keep pining over someone who doesn't even like him that way, _so so sad_ to be this hopelessly in love, but Daehyun doesn't think he could change this if he tried.

"Of course!"

His lips curl into a grin, and Dongho shivers, expression twisting with discomfort. "What?"

"It's weird seeing myself smile like that," Dongho explains, and Daehyun wants _so badly_ to say that _no, it isn't, you smile like this when you're happy or when you're discussing chords or when you're playing the piano on your knee and don't even realize it but I'm endeared anyways_.

"...I guess."

There's a long moment where neither one moves.

Finally, Dongho slides over until their arms are brushing and pulls out a laptop, balancing it on their knees as he opens a slideshow. "This is my Aunt Jiwoo. She's a bitch."

* * *

"You own _nothing_ formal."

"I don't go formal places!" Daehyun protests, fidgeting with his suit jacket. "I went to a funeral in a hoodie and sweatpants!"

Dongho leans out of his closet, expression utterly deadpan, and Daehyun offers him a weak grin.

"You went to a _funeral_. In a _hoodie_."

"It was just my third cousin?"

"I'm taking you to get real clothes."

"Wha- I can just wear yours!"

Daehyun falls silent at the realization that Dongho meant _once they were back to normal_ , and his gaze falls to his feet, ears burning with embarrassment.

Nice job, Dae.

Finally, Dongho seems satisfied with his outfit, and Daehyun blinks at the sight of his body in a tight t-shirt and passably formal pants. 

Huh.

"That's the best you could find?"

"I thought it looked pretty good," Dongho replies, and Daehyun frowns, because - okay, it looks _kinda_ good, but nothing like he'd've chosen for himself. 

(personally, he thinks his body - Dongho's - looks a lot better.

Daehyun is also very biased.)

"You ready to go?"

Daehyun nods, and Dongho seems to hesitate for a moment, hand twitching at his side.

Ah.

"Let's go," Daehyun grins, reaching out to clasp his hand, and Dongho's eyes widen as Daehyun tugs him forwards.

This can't be that bad.

Carpe diem and all that, right?

* * *

It is, in fact, that bad.

Dongho doesn't leave Daehyun's side, always ready to pretend to not know someone in the instance of Daehyun floundering (this happens far too often) and to charm the older women with a _terrifyingly_ good Daehyun impression. They manage to survive - not thrive, but survive - until dinner.

Dongho warned him about dinner.

Dongho's family is exactly as bad as Daehyun expected, if not _worse_ , and by the end of the meal, he has indentations in his palms from where he gripped the utensils. He's never heard so many offensive things said consecutively, and halfway through the meal, Dongho reaches down to grip his hand, fingers interlacing with his and squeezing.

That makes it a little bit better.

Dongho must notice how uncomfortable he is, since he makes up an excuse for them to leave as soon as dessert's served, and _god_ , Daehyun appreciates it. The things they said-

he hates it.

"I'm sorry," Dongho murmurs, and Daehyun blinks at him, gaze falling to their interlocked hands. "I didn't mean to put you in that position."

"It's fine," Daehyun replies, though it really isn't. "They're your family, right?"

"Family doesn't mean anything," Dongho mutters, irritation flashing in his eyes. "If I didn't know how dangerous they were, I'd've left long ago."

"So why do you stay?"

Dongho opens his mouth, then closes it.

"For other peoples' safety," he finally replies, and Daehyun leans over to nudge his arm.

"Just sayin', if you ever wanna say 'fuck the family' and head to a remote village in the mountain, I'm in."

"Thanks, Dae."

"Any time," Daehyun grins, and _oh_ , he wishes he could kiss Dongho now - wishes he was in his body and Dongho was in his, wishes they could kiss on the wet grass with Dongho's hand in his hair and the vanilla chap-stick the elder uses on his lips, _wishes wishes wishes_ until his heart aches.

"...you deserve someone who'd go to war with you," he says instead, squeezing Dongho's hand once before letting go. "You deserve the best, hyung."

Dongho looks at him, but says nothing.

* * *

Once they get home, Dongho immediately excuses himself and disappears to the studio.

There's a melody ringing around his head, a duet he's never heard, and he has to get it down now, now before it disappears.

He has to get this right.

He works on it for over a day straight, headphones on and gaze fixed on the computer, and once it's finally done, he promptly passes the fuck out on top of his keyboard, headphones rolling off his head and thunking on the floor.

They blast a tinny beat into the room - a gentle intertwining of guitar and piano filling the space, one rising as the other falls, and it can't be called anything other than a love song.

A love song to the instruments, and a love song to the musician that plays it.

* * *

When Dongho wakes up, the first thing he does is text Daehyun.

He's well aware that he looks disastrous - hair greasy and sticking up in odd places, still in yesterday's (two days ago's?) clothes and lips torn and raw - but he texts Daehyun anyways.

When the youngest arrives, he brings with him shampoo and a change of clothes, and _god_ , Dongho loves him.

"I wrote this," he states, picking the headphones off the floor and handing them to Daehyun. "It's for you."

Daehyun stares at him as he pulls on the headphones, and Dongho leans over to press play on the computer, watching with baited breath as the song starts.

Daehyun doesn't move for the entire four minutes.

His expression doesn't change as the music swells, doesn't change as the vocals Dongho recorded ten drinks into a twelve-pack float through the air.

He's doing Daehyun's vocal ability so little justice like this.

Finally, as the song ends, Daehyun pulls off the headphones, placing them on the table with shaking hands.

"So," Dongho weakly ventures, heart pounding in his chest, "what did you think?"

Before he can reply, Daehyun yanks him to his feet, and oh-

oh.

There's a feeling not unlike falling for a split-second, and when Dongho opens his eyes, he's staring at Daehyun's face - greasy hair, dark-rimmed eyes, chapped lips.

Dongho still thinks he's stunning.

"I love it," Daehyun whispers, and Dongho blinks as Daehyun throws himself into his arms, the youngest's chin coming to rest on his shoulder. "I loved it so much, hyung-"

He pulls back, pressing their foreheads together, and Dongho reaches up to wipe tears off the younger man's cheeks, a crooked smile coming to rest on his lips.

"I love you," Daehyun murmurs, and it's Dongho that makes the first move, this time.

He's not sure how long they stand there, wrapped up in each other in Dongho's mess of a studio, but after a while, Daehyun pulls back, reaching up to grasp his hair.

"...I need a shower."

"Sorry," Dongho replies, and Daehyun grins, leaning over to bump his arm. 

"It's fine! I mean, you wrote me that amazing love declaration, so it's totally worth it."

Daehyun pauses, expression crashing as his gaze flits back to Dongho's face. "That was a love declaration, wasn't it?"

"No," Dongho deadpans, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I just kissed you because I was being nice."

"...really?"

"No," Dongho replies, leaning in to press another kiss to Daehyun's lips.

* * *

Once Daehyun showers, they head out to the park where they had their first quasi-date.

(well. Daehyun considers it a date. Dongho does not agree.)

Daehyun leans over to lick Dongho's ice cream, lips curling into an impish grin as Dongho stares blankly at his half-gone cone. "You want some of mine?"

"What flavor did you get?"

"Potpourri."

"That's an ice cream flavor?"

"Everything's an ice cream flavor if you try hard enough."

Dongho thinks about it for a moment before nodding, and Daehyun sticks out his ice cream in offering. "C'mon, try it!"

Dongho takes a small lick of his cone, and Daehyun grins, pulling it back to his chest. "What do you think?"

"That's pretty good," Dongho replies, raising his own cone in acknowledgement. "Not as good as vanilla, though."

"Why do you like vanilla so much?" Daehyun whines, flopping down on the park bench. "It's basic flavor!"

"It's basic," Dongho corrects, "but surprisingly flavorful. Vanilla bean is the best."

"...okay, yeah, vanilla bean is pretty good."

Daehyun slides closer so their arms are touching, and he rests his head on Dongho's shoulder, gaze flitting to the sky. "Ooh! A shooting star! Make a wish!"

Dongho's fingers drum on his knee as the elder stares at the sky, lips moving in a silent phrase, and Daehyun grins, curling even closer. "What'd you wish for?"

"...secret."

"Aww man, really?"

Daehyun curls closer, watching as Dongho's fingers skitter across his knee in a silent rhythm. "I'll tell you what I wished for, then."

"What'd you wish for?"

"I wished you'd kiss me."

And, of course, Dongho does.

* * *

"So, what song off the album is your favorite?"

Daehyun leans over to stare at Dongho, who's just barely smirking - the Dongho equivalent of a mischievous grin - and he makes grabby hands for the microphone, smile only widening as Minsoo passes it to him with a "please-don't-fuck-this-up" smile.

"My favorite song on the album is 'Dewdrops'," he grins, gaze landing on Dongho's face, "which my boyfriend wrote for me."

Next to him, Minsoo makes a long-suffering noise of regret, and Jaewon pats his shoulder sympathetically.

"What happened to full support?" Daehyun squawks, gesturing wildly in their direction. "Oh, I supported them when they were together, but suddenly having a song dedicated to your boyfriend is _too sappy_ for public television-"

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Dongho covering his mouth with his hands, but Daehyun knows him well enough to know he's smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this as a response to "the you in me" and i hope to god i did it justice. i was so nervous about characterization and everything hjfkgd but i hope you like it!!!
> 
> fic title from scared by jeremy zucker
> 
> i also recommend afraid by day6 which fits the rest of the fic and cecelia and the satellite by andrew mcmahon in the wilderness  
>    
> ~~pspsps hey jamlessgenius join the discord server i wanna be your friend~~
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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